Dear Cupcake Nation: No One Cares

Cupcake nation, This is going to sound harsh.

This is an open letter to Cupcake Nation. You know who you are.

It’s true: no one cares. Your college campuses aren’t Aleppo. In a world where there are videos of Syrian children having to undergo surgery without anesthesia, no one really cares that your college isn’t providing enough gender pronouns on entrance exams, okay?

Your future employers don’t give a shit whether you’re a trans-national feminazi who identifies as a cat—they care whether you’re boosting their bottom line. Do you bring in money? No? Useless.

No one is going to achieve success in this world based on their identity politics alone.

And I think this is the best advice for social justice activists, for minorities, and for women—tough! You won the lottery being born in America. Would you rather be an Iranian woman, who isn’t allowed to drive? An Afghani woman, who has never worn shoes and never traveled more than four kilometers from her family’s rural home? Would you rather be a black guy born in Sierra Leone? Gay in Dubai?

My Little Pony - Dear Cupcake Nation: No One Cares - Don't Call Me A Hero
How do you spot Cupcake Nation? They might be wearing something like this, or have hair died these colors…

Come on people, no one is denying that this country has had a rough history. But here’s the thing: that rough history really hasn’t included you. Your great grandmothers saw suffrage and lived through the depression. Your grandfathers fought in World War 2.Your parents and grandparents lived through the civil rights movement. You grew up on Lucky Charms and My Little Pony and have the physique to prove it.

You’ve never fought a battle for your life

And that’s why it’s so boring, and you’re grasping at the latest HuffPo headline to go to Facebook and ‘write letters to our Congressmen’ because you’re fighting. You’ve never taken any risk, because you’ve grown up soft. We’re two hundred years into an empire, people. We all grew up soft. Sixty percent of homeless people in this country have a car—and like a 99% have a cell phone. You have grown so accustomed to a bi-weekly paycheck, your must-watch shows, bear claws in the morning and being catered to by your liberal arts professors that you believe wholeheartedly that the rest of the world is also fairly soft. Time to wake up, cupcake.

Veterans of the Great War on Terror learned the hard way, through carrying heavy loads through the mountains and harassing gunfire on their way. Through witnessing the suffering of children and women.

But that’s what we’re afraaaid of happening! We believe the rise of fascism is happening!

That’s where you’ve lost me.

People in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, they’re afraid of disappearing. Not of disappearing from the national spotlight, mind you, but people actually disappearing. The Syrian Civil War started when protestors were gunned down in the street, and weeks later several teens were tortured, dismembered, and their body parts sent home as messages.

Here in America, we have college sage spaces over the election.

People more concerned about a Tweet than the suffering of real people.

Everything is amazing here. I couldn’t think of a better country, no matter your color or creed, that I’d rather start a business, raise a family, and keep my home base. Can you? I’m not saying there isn’t room for improvement.

There is definitely room to appreciate what we already have.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays.